Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I'd Rather Wipe Asses Than Kiss Asses

So...I currently work in a bank. A bank that just so happened to be going under due to bad mortgages while our CEO kept assuring us we were fine and in the last quarter raised all these millions of dollars in capital but really we were sinking so fast the government refused to give us any bailout money and flat out told our misleading CEO (who had told all of us lowly branch employees to assure all of our faithful customers we were fine) we were pretty much EFFED. So this glorious bank was then bought by an even MORE glorious bank that charges fees for EVERYTHING (even lost debit cards) and never refunds any of these fees, and actually punishes employees who do give customers back their $7.50 because their wallet was stolen and has mysterious initials that don't quite have an explanation.


So how did the free-spirited, beautiful, smart, talented CJ come to work for this bank?

It all started in the fall of 2006...

I was a freshman at a gigantic university. We're talking the number of students was triple the number of people in my home town. But I was ready. I was smart. I was prepared to show this university that I'd breeze through it, just like I had with all of my other academic endeavors. They should have been honored that I was a student there...and they were. They showed this by giving me a full tuition scholarship. I mean hell, if I hadn't chose to live in the dorms (and thus pay for student housing) THEY would have practically been paying ME to go there. That's how awesome I am.

But, things aren't always as perfect as they seem. Turns out I had a pretty horrific underlying and untapped social anxiety issue (or as I like to call it, "I Want My Mommy syndrome). Living in approximately 3 square feet with a stranger, sitting in a classroom with 250 other students, and not knowing a single soul wasn't really my thing. And by not really my thing, I mean I would have crying, sobbing, the world is ending panic attacks multiple times a day. In my dorm? Walking to class? The library? Inside a lecture hall? Yep. Had them in all of those places.

So I eventually just stopped going to class. I'd escape to hang out with my sister, go home to my parent's, or just drive around the city...anything to get off that damn campus. I powered through two semesters like this. Barely going to class, but still managing to do enough studying on my own to keep my GPA up.

After my first year, I just couldn't do it anymore. I was lying to my parents about my slipping grades and horrendous attendance and everything in my life seemed to be falling apart. I mean HELLO! I'm a smart kid...I do NOT drop out of college. Except I did.

So I took a part-time job at a bank, fully planning on taking ONE semester off and then getting right back to it. That didn't happen. A full-time spot opened, so I did that instead...because the bank wasn't so bad at the time. Then the newness of it all wore off, and all I could think about was going back to school. So I signed up to take two online business classes, with the intent of working in banking for the rest of my life. All was calm again.

And then I failed those two classes. Because I never studied or turned anything in. I failed out of college AGAIN. There were no social anxiety excuses this time around...I just simply didn't like the classes. You see, it wasn't business and finance in general that I liked about the bank. I liked my co-workers. I liked working and interacting with people. I did NOT like the monotony or the corporate BS. I especially didn't like the need to constantly be kissing someone's ass to keep the higher-ups happy. I signed up for ANOTHER business class online, and made it through with a good grade. Mostly because I absolutely had to prove to my parents that I could do it before they gave up on me completely and washed their hands of the entire situation.

So, here I am now. Signed up for one class this semester with a new major in mind: nursing. Now, nursing majors are required to be certified nurse's assistants. What's a CNA? That person you see cleaning up poop, or who pops in for a split second to take blood pressure, or who is changing sheets on a hospital bed is a CNA. Now...nursing programs do not require that you actually have this job at some point, just that you're certified. Most people will tell you that all CNAs do is wipe asses all day long. How chic.

But I've thought a lot about this...and my parents are being ultra-supportive based on my ONE online class I powered through last semester and my constant complaining and crying about how much I ABSOLUTELY HATE WORKING AT A BANK (oh mom and dad, how I love you so). So they've kindly encouraged me to take one nursing pre-requisition and a CNA certification class. They've also informed me to save what money I can and they'll consider helping me out so I can take a two week fast-course CNA class and get a job doing that instead.

After a lot of thought, I can only come to one conclusion.

I'd rather wipe asses than kiss asses.


  1. I'm with ya, Sista. I do not kiss up. If you don't like me, tough. I say it like it is and can tell a BS'er a mile away.

    Follow your heart. Work with people. Be the BEST nurse that any patient has ever had. You can do it!

  2. Life`s too short to do something that sucks that bad. I`m glad you made the choice.

  3. If you are unhappy and ready to move on it seems like now is a great time to go ahead and do that. Just remember you are working towards your goal of becoming a nurse so every course you take or certification you complete in one step closer to your ultimate goal.

    Good Luck!

  4. Go for it. At least if you want to become a nurse or something more you will have that little certification out of the way.

    Also - after getting experience, you could even do private contracting work.

    Make yourself happy!

  5. WOW, that is crazy! Your life and mine are flip-flopped. When I graduated high school I knew I wasn't ready for college, so I decided I wanted to go to LPN school, well the classes had already started and I couldn't get in. So I decided to become a CNA! I worked as a CNA for about 3 years. And let me tell you it is more than just cleaning up poop! I worked in a nursing home as well as in a hospital. Transitional Care Unit(TCU) is where I worked in the hospital and I liked it more than the nursing home. In TCU the patients can only stay the max of 90 days due to the laws and such, but it was more of like a rehab unit were people might need to stay a little longer after having surgery on knees, hips, etc. It was non stop on the go, getting BPs & vitals, showers, transporting pt to therapy, doing EKGs, changing beds, feeding pts, and charting. A tip of advice...if a nurse gives a patient a milk of molassas enima... pad up the entire room!! You will have a sticky mess that will not come off things and make sure you are not wearing your favorite pair of scrubs, cuz they will just be garbage when you are done.

    Well, after I had my 1st daughter I decided that I wanted to go back to school for accounting! Then about half way through I changed to Marketing and management. Graduated with a 4.0 and got the best job working in a real estate office. Not the greatest pay, but we managed until # 2 came along. Then I had to quit because the cost of daycare for the 2 would have been my whole check.

    I have been really thinking about getting back into the health care field. Maybe for RN, but I don't know. I am still paying for student loans and I don't think we could afford for me to go back right now. If you need any help with the CNA stuff or any questions just let me know and I can try and help you out. If I don't know something, my mom will know, she has been an RN for over 30 years.

  6. Oops. Maybe I should've read this post before commenting on your Mamavation Monday one! DRATS! If you managed to get a full scholarship before, I have faith that you can get your nursing degree paid for!

    I'm totally with you. I'd rather wipe asses than kiss asses, too. Love my dad for teaching me to stand up rather than sacrificing my true self! Good luck with everything!