I'm Not Dead

So....here we are.

I just read the last post I published on this blog which was nearly TWO YEARS ago. I wrote about Lent and recommitting myself to being healthy.

Clearly, that didn't work out.

The end of 2011 and basically all of 2012 was probably the most difficult 15 months or so of my life. A very close and dear friend unexpectedly passed away and that seemed like the beginning of a lot of strife in various aspects of my life. But here I am, on the other(ish) side of things. Ready to take back control of my own life and try once again to become a healthier version of me.

Not only does this mean the obvious losing weight, but I need to focus a lot on my mental health as well. I need to work on being more social and not just hiding out in my apartment, looking at funny cat pictures on the internet while hunched over my laptop like I should be ringing bells in Notre Dame. I need to learn that a day off from work doesn't mean I can just lay around in bed all day, and unfortunately, I think I need to let go of some friendships that have deteriorated and seem to have no hope of revival.

So here's to a new year, and hopefully...FINALLY...getting my shit together.

Revamping Lent

So, I grew up Catholic. Although we certainly weren't strict Catholics...I do recall not eating meat on Fridays during lent. I think we usually had frozen fish sticks and mac and cheese. (Side note: why doesn't fish count?)

I also recall that when I was younger, even my non-Catholic friends gave up something for lent. I'm not sure why...like it was the cool thing to do or something. Since I was a little pansy, I usually made up stupid things in my mind to give up. Things I would have never done anyway.

10 year old CJ: I'm totally giving up dating boys for lent. It should be easy since I don't date and boys have cooties.

Although one year I DID actually give up soda. I think I was a sophomore in high school. I was so damn proud of myself! Too bad that habit didn't stick.

So today, as I was loathing the fact that I have a midterm tomorrow and can't go out and celebrate Mardi Gras tonight (because I'm responsible or something), I started thinking about why exactly we give things up for lent.

I did approximately 0 research, and came to the conclusion that lent should be about bettering yourself. No one gives up GOOD habits for lent, now do they? The Catholic church may disagree...but this is how I see it in my mind.

So this year for lent, I'm just recommitting myself to getting healthy again. I've avoided my twitter account and all the wonderful women at Mamavation because well...I suck. And that's what I do when I feel guilty about something: I avoid it. Because if I ignore something, it will TOTALLY go away. Right? Right.

Now of course, as far as getting healthy goes, that means eating better and exercising more. In a physical sense. I'm also going to focus on my mental health as well...because it's just as important. I'm going to "unplug" more and seize the day. I'm going to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. I may even sing karaoke.

Holy Moly

So, I kind of dropped off the face of the internet for a month. Sorry about that!

Isn't it funny how when we have nothing going on, and all the time in the world...we seem to be motivated to do nothing? That's pretty much how all of December was for me. I did a whole lot of NOTHING. It was refreshing for about a week before I just fell into a lazy funk.

Now, the beginning of 2011 has brought me a new semester in college and a new job. I've gone from 0 to sixty in about 3 seconds. I'm slightly overwhelmed, but I'm glad to report than some anxiety issues that have plagued me in the past haven't set in yet. A tinge of nervousness, but that's to be expected when you're working on a brand new major and a brand new job in a field you've never worked in before.

Suddenly, despite the fact that I have far less free time now, I'm more eager to start cooking healthy food again and get back to working out. I guess I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.

I'm also glad to report that this year is already looking better than last year. All of my new endeavors aside, I feel more connected to old friends, more outgoing, and overall more confident in myself. 2009 was a shit storm for me, and 2010 was just "ok"...so dare I say...this year will be good? YES! IT WILL! I feel more grounded and thankful for what I have than I did a year ago. I have a BEAUTIFUL nephew who laughs and giggles more and more every single day, a terrific family, and the best friends anyone could ask for. I think I've finally come to a peaceful place in my mind where, when things do go wrong (it's inevitable)...I can say to myself that everything will be ok. I finally feel like I have a bright future ahead of me and a solid plan for how I want it will happen.

Mamavation Monday

Over the past few weeks, I've honestly completely lost track of my weight loss/progress. Between a visit to Indiana to see an old friend and Thanksgiving, things just haven't been spectacular in the eating department.

Time for a clean slate. My weight is 247.6 lbs as of this morning.

A lot of times (meaning every year) I tend to assume Thanksgiving-Christmas is just a time for bad eating. This is absurd. There are FOUR weeks in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. There is no need to eat unhealthy that entire time, and frankly I think it's ridiculous that people use the holidays as an excuse. Yes, we may over-indulge on these days...but they're just that: DAYS. Not weeks. Not months. I enjoyed myself on Thanksgiving, and I plan on enjoying myself on Christmas as far as food goes...but my goal this year is to not slip into bad habits during those in-between weeks.

Thanksgiving is behind me, left-overs are gone, and the kitchen is once again bare. I say good riddance. NO. MORE. TURKEY. It's time for me to go to the store and stock up on healthy, yummy stuff and get back on track with my weight loss.

Why Pastured Eggs Are Better

(source)

I've never been a huge egg fan.

They were ok, but I didn't wake up in the morning craving some fried eggs. Occasionally, I would enjoy some eggs over-easy but ONLY if there was toast for me to dip into the yolk. Scrambled eggs were ok too, but again...not the biggest fan in the world.

In fact, I was never a big breakfast eater. I could never bring myself to eat as soon as I woke up and refused (REFUSED!) to wake up early enough to allow myself the amount of time to eat breakfast. Sleep > Food.

On the off chance that I did eat breakfast, it was usually cinnamon rolls on Sundays before Sunday School, or some non-breakfast item. I distinctly remember eating Spaghetti-O's for breakfast one morning when I was 6 or 7 and then throwing them up on the bus on the way to school. Nice.

I know breakfast is good for you. I know it prevents you from binging the rest of the day (I was always STARVING by lunch) and boosts your metabolism, so I recently made a distinct effort to start eating breakfast. I decided on a protein-rich breakfast because I just generally enjoy savory foods more than sweet ones, and the only easy sweet breakfast that's fast and easy are smoothies. I don't think the rest of my household would appreciate our exceptionally noisy blender before everyone else is awake.

So I logically came to start buying eggs. Again, I thought they were just "ok"...I didn't wake up craving my breakfast, but in general didn't mind eating it either. I then started to do some research on food and decided to start buying free-range eggs. They tasted about the same, but I was confident I was getting more nutrients and felt good that those chickens were being treated better.

Then I started to do MORE research. As it turns out, "free-range" chickens don't generally roam around outside in pastures, they simply have to have access to it. I thought to myself, "wouldn't they logically WANT to go in the pasture sometimes?" But it was obvious (after research) that they really didn't venture outside much. First of all, most of these free-range cartons also boasted that the chickens were fed an all vegetarian diet. Sure their corn and soy might not be genetically modified, but soy isn't the best thing for you regardless, and chickens are DESIGNED to eat worms and bugs. Just like I don't think vegetarianism is the wisest choice for humans (since we were created to be omnivores), I feel the same about chickens.

So I bought some local, pastured eggs. I saw the eggs at my local Whole Foods and decided to give them a try. I e-mailed the farm owners (who are about 30 miles from where I live) and asked them how they raised their chickens. They're put on rotating pastures and allowed to eat pretty much whatever they want to from the field, including bugs and worms.

The first time I cracked open one of these eggs, I noticed an IMMEDIATE difference. Instead of the muted-yellow yolks I saw in both "conventional" eggs and the free-range ones, these yolks were bright orange. A more vibrant color is an immediate indication of more nutrients. The eggs also seemed larger (despite the chickens not being given hormones). As soon as I took the first bite, the taste was also incredibly different. I would describe them as "creamier" or "denser." They were divine. For the first time in my life, I can't wait to eat breakfast tomorrow morning so I can have some more.

Not only do pastured eggs simply taste better, but research indicates they're better for you. They can have up to 40% more omega-3 fatty acids, 10% less fat in general, and up to 35% less cholesterol than conventional eggs OR organic, free-range eggs that aren't pastured. They're also higher in Vitamin A, D, and E due to the chicken's being in the sunshine. For every pastured egg you eat, you'd have to consumer 3-5 conventional eggs for the same number of vitamins.

So, if you can, I highly recommend finding a local farmer (or a store that sells eggs from local farms) that you can buy PASTURED eggs from. The taste will pull you in, but the nutrition will give you peace of mind. They're also cheaper than those organic, free-range ones from hundreds of miles away. JACKPOT!

Embrace the Bacon

For the past few weeks, I've been pouring over blogs such as Keeper of the Home, The Nourishing Gourmet, and Cheese Slave. I'm a little bit obsessed with FOOD PORN.

I used to watch the Food Network all the time and drool over Paula Deen's cream and butter soaked everything. I also had some very vivid dreams about Sandra Lee style "table-scapes". I realize I'm a nerd.

Then I realized I was unhealthy. Not just fat...because that was pretty obvious, but I realized although I'm young and still in pretty good health at the moment, my life would not remain so unless something changed. Enter: weight loss.

For the past several months that's what I've been concentrating on. At first, like any other "normal" dieter everything I bought was fat free, sugar free, boneless, skinless, and flavorless. I was not a happy camper. Gradually, I started doing more and more research and what I found was extremely obvious, yet surprising.

You see, over the past 60 or 70 years, our scientists have made gigantic discoveries about the human body. We only need x amount of calories and there are different types of cholesterol, and this type of food can do this and this other type of food will do that and so on. Enter the world of diet food. Low-fat, low-calorie everything. So logically with all of these new discoveries and creations people started eating healthier, maintaining healthy weights, and living full, active lives. The End.

Only except that's not what happened.

We, as a society, have gradually been becoming more unhealthy, in the midst of all this diet food hype. HOW CAN THAT BE?! Clearly something else has come into play. Processed food-like substances.

Yes, back in the day my grandmother cooked with lard (gasp!), drank whole milk, and probably didn't waste a whole lot of her time worrying about dark meat and light meat and trimming fat. People often say they didn't know any better back then...but look how much healthier they were. My grandmother is nowhere near obese, and meanwhile I'm sitting at 243 pounds and have probably shoved more "diet food" in my mouth in my lifetime than she could ever imagine.

That's why I'm embarking on a new journey to health. I hope I'll lose weight on the way. The more I research, the more I believe that processed foods of any kind not only damage our health (obviously), but actually prohibit weight loss.

Of course I'm not going to go out and stuff my face full of bacon and eggs, everything needs to be in moderation. But eggs are one of the most nutrition-packed foods out there. And bacon? When it comes from a healthy pig can be nutritious too. Some fats are essential for mineral and vitamin absorption and digestion!

So, (moderately) bring on the bacon! Bring on baking from scratch! I'm not afraid!

Here are some of my "food goals." I'll probably be introducing one or two a week. Something I consider "big" will be my only focus for one week (like baking without refined sugar) or I might do a few small ones in the same week (like making my own mayo and dressing).

-Eat more fish
-Pastured, organic eggs
-Grass-fed beef
-Organic chicken
-Organic milk/dairy products (cultured when appropriate)
-Fermented vegetables
-Soaked/sprouted grains
-Plant-based diet
-Local foods when available
-Bake my own bread
-Make my own yogurt and kefir
-Make my own mayonnaise
-Make my own salad dressing
-Remove refined sugar from my diet except on special occassions
-Make broth
-Fermented vegetables
-Make my own pasta
-Drink non-homogenized, pasteurized at low temps, whole milk

Check back to see my progress!

Mamavation Monday 11/8

I lost 2.0 lbs this week! w00t!

The funk I was in last week seems to have dissipated this week. I'm adjusting to the winter weather and I've (mostly) gotten over my illness.

I'm still struggling with my schedule issue. Since I'm currently not working outside the home, I tend to slip into a feeling of laziness that is detrimental to my whole day. Lame!

My focus this week will be eating as clean as I can for as cheap as I can. It's a fine balance between saving money and eating a diet full of whole, clean foods. On one end, you don't want to drop a ridiculous amount of money on fresh produce (in November) and high quality meat, but on the other you don't want to reduce yourself to eating everything out of a can. I'll let you know how this goes!

Lastly, and completely unrelated to anything that has to do with Mamavation, I got a hair cut yesterday! Before, my hair stopped right at my elbows and now it's just above my shoulders. I donated what was cut off to Locks of Love, thus the haircut was free! w00t! Frugality at it's best!

Here's a before and after for your viewing pleasure (you're welcome)





PS - I just noticed the difference in weight in my face! Am I just seeing things?


Hope everyone has a great week!

Mamavation Monday

Honestly, I really didn't feel like writing this post today (which is why it's late).

I wasn't avoiding it because I gained 2 lbs (grrrr!), but I've just been feeling lazy. It's "that time" and the weather just turned cold here, so the two things mixed together make for a rather zonked-out feeling CJ!

I had a pretty decent week with eating, it's not like I binged on a box of donuts or anything, I'm just feeling a little blahhhhhhhhh

I've also had some chest congestion starting a little earlier today, so I'm praying that goes away soon and doesn't develop into anything else.

Honestly, these past few weeks have been a little difficult for me. This new schedule (or lack thereof) while I'm looking for a job has just utterly demotivated me from doing anything. Totally lame.

On a lighter note, I've been reading a lot from the blog Keeper of the Home recently. If you haven't checked out Stephanie's site, I highly recommend it!

Topics covered include:
Homeopathic Remedies
Baking with soaked/sprouted grains
Cooking from scratch
How NOT to eat organic (as in, prepackaged and processed food is still expensive and just unnecessary even if it's USDA Certified Organic)
Baking with honey
The raw milk debate

I will tell you, her blog convinced me to give Kefir a go. Several months ago I would have NEVER IMAGINED anyone could convince me to drink it. I've only had one class so far, and it was a little sour for my liking. I added some raw honey to it and that helped tremendously. I don't think I'll be drinking a tall glass of this with dinner, but from what I've researched on it, the benefits are definitely worth a small glass every day or two.

Also, her grocery budget is low. I'm talking crazy low, and she lives in Canada...from what I know, food there tends to cost more than it does here in Kentucky. It makes me embarrassed to admit how much I spend on groceries a month (so I won't). She has some great posts and Q&A's about how to lower your food costs while still buying whole, natural, organic, REAL ingredients (Hint: make from scratch).

I'm going to try and get my act together a little bit more this week. A very small, additional goal I'm setting in place for myself is to get up and put actual clothes on first thing in the morning. Pajama pants just naturally make you want to lounge around, am I right?

Mamavation Monday 10/25

This post is going to be short and sweet.

This week was pretty good for me. My eating was pretty good except for dinner yesterday (we were celebrating my dad's birthday).

I'm not going to get bent out of shape over one less than perfectly healthy meal. One dinner isn't going to make me or break me :)

I've been considering joining a CSA this upcoming year and found one here where I can get produce, eggs, beef, and chicken for a little over $800 (for April-October). That comes out to about $30 a week. We definitely spend more than that on those items at the store every week. Right now I'm thinking "why would anyone NOT do this?"

If you've joined a CSA in the past, what did you like/dislike about it?

Here's my scale pic for the week:



I lost 2 lbs! w00t!!

Thanks once again to Subway for sponsoring Mamavation this week! They're giving away a $50 gift card from Lulu Lemon, a green Gaiam gym bag and yoga mat

Dear Random Parent

Dear Random Parent:

When I'm out walking my dog at 11:00 at night waiting for her to take a crap, the last thing I expect is to see a 3 or 4 year old wandering around ALONE.

Logically, I asked the child if he knew where his house was BECAUSE I WANTED HIM TO RETURN SAFELY.

I would appreciate it if the next time I find your toddler wandering around at night since he "does it all the time" your redneck ass doesn't accuse me of suspicious activity. Asking your son where he lives is in no way an attempt to break into your house. I was trying to return him.

Also, please don't get in my face about how my dog licked your kid. Unlike you, I'm a responsible adult and am aware that my dog has never and would never bite anyone. She's the friendliest dog I know. PS - your kid was laughing and having fun with her.

Lastly, I do not recommend you let your child who isn't even old enough to be in kindergarten roam around ALONE, AT NIGHT. That's just stupid.

I sincerely hope you get your act together for the sake of your child. If I ever see him roaming around alone at night again, I WILL call CPS.

-CJ

Is This How Lindsay Lohan Feels Everytime She's In the Tabloids?

To my Mamavation Sistas-

Thank you SO MUCH for the continued support throughout the past few days. Yall mean more to me than you'll ever know.

As for the twitter idiot: they apparently weren't the brightest crayon in the box and a few of their tweets pretty much confirmed my suspicions as to who they are.

They are NOT a member of the Mamavation Sistahood (as if any of you would ever say those things!).

Unfortunately, when I was campaigning to be the next Mamavation Mom, this let pretty much everyone I know "in real life" what I was doing. Although 99.9999% of those people were supportive, ONE was not. It's really a shame how one person makes everyone else look bad.

This person was not a current friend, although we do have many mutual acquaintances.

I deeply apologize that my campaigning brought all of this unnecessary drama to the mamavation hashtag on Twitter. Again, thank you ALL for your love and support.

I'd like to say that I didn't let this person get the better of me, but lots of what they said (whether true or false) stirred up the same feelings I've had since I was a little girl. Nothing like someone preying on your weak spots to make you feel a little insecure.

Hopefully in a few days, I'll be prepared to show that person how WRONG they are. For now I'm just trying to wrap my head around why someone would say such terrible things.

If you have any concerns regarding anything this person tweeted out, please let me know.

Mamavation Monday 10/17/2010

Hello ladies!

So, this week has been a little bananas. I've been busy with getting things straightened out for school, tests, and TRYING not to stress over this Mamavation campaign on top of the usual stuff.

I took a little time to relax and enjoy the beautiful weather this weekend and it was FABULOUS!

Here's this week's scale pic:


I've lost 2 lbs since last week! w00t!

This is also my official starting weight for the Move It & Lose It Challenge (if I'm not selected as a Mamavation Mom)

I also must take the time out to apologize to my mother since she was mortified that her daughter posted pictures last week without taking that toe nail polish off. Sorry again, Mom.

Here are my before pics:














Any my measurements:

Bust: 42"
Waist: 41"
Hips: 50"
Rt Arm: 19.5"
Lt Arm: 19.25"
Rt Thigh: 30"
Lt Thigh: 31"

Sexy

Honestly, seeing the rather horrifying pictures of me (and posting them for the world to see) reminds me of WHY I started Mamavation in the first place. I saw pictures of me at my sister's wedding and was so upset not only out how BIG I was, but by the fact that these are my sister's wedding pictures that will be around forever.

I felt like a giant sore thumb that just stuck out and ruined all of her wedding pictures. It might seem trivial to some, but it was devastating to me.

I'm going to try to not let this get me down, and just use it as a motivating factor for what I'm here to do: GET HEALTHY!

I did my EA Sports Active workout on Saturday and it was a LOT harder than I was anticipating. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it kicked my butt! I also did 150 jumping jacks every day which definitely got my heart racing and did 150 mountain climbers 3 days this week. On top of that, I bit the bullet and started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred again. That woman is going to kill me!

Good luck to all the other finalists! Can't wait to see who's chosen to be the next Mamavation Mom! Don't forget to join us at the Twitter party Monday night from 8pm-10pm EST. You can RSVP here

PS - Polls close for voting for the next Mamavation Mom on Monday at 9pm EST. If I inspire you, motivate you, make you giggle, or even if I make you cringe, please take the time to go VOTE FOR ME HERE. <3

$50 VISA Gift Card Giveaway

Enter to win a $50.00 (USD) Visa gift card!

All you have to do is VOTE for me (@CJinKY) over at Mamavation.com to be the next Mamavation Mom.

From Mamavation.com:

As a healthy living bootcamp, Mamavation™ is an opportunity for two moms (Mamavation™ Moms) to change their lives together by entering into a 7 week healthy living boot camp created to give them the tools they need to succeed. The will receive a professional nutritional plan created by Cynthia Pasquella @CPasquella and a fitness program created by Tracey Mallett. They will also receive Earth Footwear, an EA SPORTS Active, Tracey Mallett and Tae Bo DVDs. The program was created and is managed by @bookieboo, with the goal of teaching moms how to live life better. The Mamavation™ campaign plans to give them the tools they need to succeed, in hopes that they will create a healthy lifestyle for themselves and their families.




Then tweet out the following message:

"Vote for @CJinKY to be the next #Mamavation Mom and enter to win a $50 Visa Gift Card #Giveaway http://bit.ly/az9CWc Pls RT"

Then come back here, let me know you voted, and link your tweet. That's it! You can vote once from your computer and once from your phone, so if you do both that's a maximum of two entries.

Note: This Giveaway *is* available to those outside of the US, but the $50 is in USD and Visa will charge a 3% international transaction fee.

*offer only valid if I'm selected

Mamavation Monday 10/11/10

So let's start off with the scale picture:



Please disregard the chipped nail polish.

So, I can't say for sure what's up with this weight. I figured I gained weight over the past few weeks...but some of the weight being registered may or may not have to do with the fact that I had to buy a new scale because my old one was destroyed when my apartment flooded.

Sigh

This new scale is actually pretty crappy and I may or may not return it and get another. I haven't decided yet.

The Good:

I actually ran this week. TWICE! I really am not a fan of cardio unless it involves dancing around like a crazy person (see my post on this here) because I can't seem to get my breathing under control. I have to stop and catch my breath WAY before my muscles tire. Is this normal?

Regardless, I powered through two runs that were approximately a mile. The distance isn't fabulous, but it's a push for me and that's all that matters.

The Bad:

This past week was better with what I ate, but still not spectacular. I didn't gorge on fast food or anything, but my choices could have been better. This will be my focus this week.

The Ugly:

This morning, I tried mixing some greek yogurt, cottage cheese, peaches, and pumpkin pie spice for breakfast. It tasted great, but I could NOT get over the texture of the cottage cheese (I don't think I had ever tried cottage cheese before today). I tried eating it slowly, fastly, in big bites, etc. I just couldn't get past it. I think I'll have nightmares about those chewy, lumpy curds in my teeth. Someone suggested I use an immersion blender to blend it into a smoother texture, so I may try that once I get over my PTSD from the incident this morning. More than likely I'll just skip the cottage cheese and use greek yogurt only.

Other News:

Subway is this week's blogging carnival sponsor for Mamavation. They're giving away an iPod which would be FABULOUS since mine just bit the dust.

As of right now, the finalists for the Mamavation campaign haven't been announced. Good luck to everyone else who applied! If you haven't yet, please take a few minutes to view my application video here.

Cardio the Fun Way (aka How To Make an Ass Out of Yourself)

Ok...so some people think standard cardio workouts are fun. Running, ellipticals, cycling, etc. I am not one of those people.

Don't get me wrong, I love the feeling I have after a cardio session. In fact, in my state of semi-unconscious, out-of-breath delirium, I think to myself, "I should totally do that again!"



However, I do not consider cardio to be fun. I think it's great (and by great, I mean that I'm insanely jealous and envious) that some people do...but I just can't become a crazy fanatic. Taking out years of pent up aggression and beating the crap out of something (aka kickboxing) is more my thing. After years of doing kick-lines Rockettes style in my dance classes, I best be putting all that money spent on lessons to good use!

Anyway, I have discovered a way that cardio CAN be fun.

(Note: I am not a personal trainer by any means. I don't even look like one. I look more like I ate one. Please do NOT consider this to be professional work-out advice. This is simply something I do because I enjoy it.)

Last Christmas, my friend Amanda and I were putting up a tree and listening to some ultra-awesome Christmas music. At one point in between randomly tossing tinsel around and trying not to break any of the hot pink bulbs, the planets aligned, clouds parted, angels started to sing, and Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" came on.

So what can two ladies do during such a heavenly moment? That's right my friends...

CHRISTMAS CARDIO DANCE PARTY!

Amanda and I danced and danced and danced until we were both sweating, red in the face, and completely out of breath. It then struck me what a fantastic work-out this could be. Ever since then, when I'm just not in the mood to do anything serious (which is always) I'll load my iTunes, select an upbeat playlist, grab my 3 lb weights, and proceed to make a complete jackass out of myself.

Jumping on the couch, shaking what my mama gave me, and pumping my arms with the weights until I just can't do it anymore.

It's fabulous.

(Another note: If you DO decide to do this, please be careful. Although I'm overweight and you wouldn't know it by my moves, I have had professional dance training and am fully aware of how much I can stretch and fling my limbs in a ridiculous manor before hurting myself. Also...much like Wii controls...beware to NOT throw the weights through any expensive items. DO NOT BE THAT PERSON.)

I'm also about 107% positive that my neighbors are now terrified of me. I consider that an added bonus.

Mamavation Application Video

Hello ladies!

Here is my video application to become the next Mamavation Mom




So, basically I want to be the next Mamavation Mom because I am SICK AND TIRED of being overweight. I've been overweight my whole life, and have finally decided it's time to turn my life around. I've lost about 20 pounds since May, but I still have about 100 more pounds.

100 MORE POUNDS!

I seriously need help getting this weight loss kicked into high gear. Please show your support for me by tweeting this out:

Hey @bookieboo! I want @CJinKY to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/zqUxa

Mamavation Monday 10/4

Hello ladies!

So, I have been decidedly absent from my blog and twitter for about a week and a half now. On September 23, my beautiful nephew was born...so I've been spending a lot of time soaking up his love.



Also, last Tuesday...my apartment flooded due to some piece of plumbing rusting through and falling off. I had just finished taking my state SRNA exam (which went well) when I checked my voicemail and found out about the water. For the time being, we're staying with my parents until they get the carpets dry, cleaned, and checked for mold and mildew.

Luckily nothing that important and expensive was destroyed, but my scale wasn't so fortunate so I'm not sure what I weigh. I'm getting a new scale at some point this week (probably soon), so I'll probably weigh myself on it...post that weight...and do any weight losses in the future from that point.

I'm honestly not that upset about the scale because 1. It was cheap...not some fancy, expensive kind. 2. I know I've gained weight

Between eating whatever was served in the cafeteria in the hospital while my sister was being induced and in labor (two and a half days total) and then coming to stay with my parents (home cooked southern food) and a schedule flipped upside down there's no way I DIDN'T gain. Perhaps the scale made an all-loving self sacrifice so I wouldn't have to stand on it and know the horror this week. That's the story I'm sticking too.

Hope you all have a great week! Thanks to Subway for once again sponsoring Mamavation this week.

Mamavation Monday

Hello ladies!

Let's start off with the weight situation. This week I maintained...didn't lose or gain one single ounce. I'm glad I didn't gain...but I thought I did really well with my food choices this week, so a big WHATEVER (talk to the hand) to you, Mr. Scale.

Also, over the past two days I've come down with some sort of allergy attack/cold disaster. I tried a neti pot for the first time and held my head upside down instead of tilted to the side. That's why using neti pots is now known as "medicinal water boarding" as far as I'm concerned. I also purchased some elderberry extract which tastes like it came straight from the seventh circle of hell. So...between the two, hopefully I'll feel better soon.

Our sponsor this week is Subway which as most of us know, is one of the best options for healthy food on the go. I'm not sure if I'll make it to Mamavation TV this week, since my sister is being induced Monday night (SQUEE!). We'll see how quickly she progresses and whether she wants to lovingly hold my hand and use my beautiful face as a focal point during contractions, or if she grows three heads and starts throwing things and roaring.

Hope you all have a fabulous week! This time next week, I'll officially be "Aunt CJ"...so look out for incredible words of wisdom and thought-provoking insight.

Mamavation Monday 9/13

So this week, I seem to be a little more in the groove of things.

I lost 3 lbs, bringing my weight to 235.8. That puts me at a net weight loss of 20.2 lbs.

Even though I lost 3 lbs, which I'm very happy about, I still could have done much better. I didn't work out, and my eating could have been MUCH better. I was in the hospital a lot visiting a family member (no worries-they're ok!), which means I either ate hospital food (eww) or ordered something. I'm not going to stress too much about this because I was there supporting a family member and there wasn't a whole lot I could do about the food situation.

The next few weeks are probably still going to be bananas, because I'll be taking my state nursing assistant exam, *hopefully* getting a job, and I'm expecting a brand new nephew! This will be my sister's first child, and my first niece or nephew, so we're all pretty excited/nervous/terrified! My dear sister has entrusted me (or conned me) to help her make healthy and nutritious food for her and her family after Baby Alex is born, so this is definitely a motivator to find new yummy-yet-good-for-you foods.

Hope you all have a fabulous week!

A Loss of Innocence

When I was in eighth grade, I had absolutely nothing to complain about. I mean sure...I complained (hello, I was a middle schooler), but really I had NOTHING legitimate to whine about. I had two fabulous, still married parents that loved me and pretty much gave me whatever I wanted within reason. I had a sister who, despite daily fights about who borrowed who's clothes without asking, looked after me and treated me more like a friend than an annoying little sis. I was growing up in a small, quiet town with virtually no crime rate. I could run around my farm all day and all night long without a worry. I was innocent, naive, and carefree - everything a 13 year old girl should be.

Then one day, 9 years ago today, I walked into my social studies class to find an image similar to this on the TV



I walked in right as a plane was hitting the second tower. I seriously thought there was an action movie playing in the background - until I heard the commentary of a news anchor. Some very horrified, unscripted commentary.

In an instant, my world was shattered. I didn't know anyone who might have been in danger...not by a long shot, but I did know I didn't feel safe. I mean, this was America. All of our fighting was done overseas. No one would ever bomb or attack us all the way over here. In my (barely) teenaged mind, things like this just did NOT happen in the United States. I don't know if I even recognized that things like this happened in other parts of the world. In my head, vicious attacks like this ended with World War II (like I said, I was naive..about a lot of things).

Suddenly, people were throwing around words that I'd never heard before - words like "terrorist" and "al-Qaeda". I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the fact that a COUNTRY wasn't responsible for this. In history, I'd always heard things like "X Country attacked Y Country" not "X terrorist group attacked the civilians of Y nation".

There's a time when everyone grasps the concept that the world is much bigger than they realize. It may not come when until they're 90 years old, or it may come when they're a 13 year old middle schooler. The day I realized that the world expanded beyond my small town in the country was September 11, 2001.

Where were you on that day? How did it effect you?


PS - Thanks to Lauren at Mommy is Rock n Roll for her post that inspired me to write this.